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Speaking From Experience is a live, 25-minute, free motivational presentation that can renew your faith in happy endings

On January 3, 2000, Mr. Tom Leavell (57) died in South Bend, Indiana after suffering a heart attack and major stroke just 4 weeks earlier.

On February 15, 2000, Mrs. Linda Bernett (55) died in Minneapolis, Minnesota after struggling with breast cancer for 6 1/2 years.

On January 22, 2001, an email went flying through cyberspace. The email was sent by Mary Lou Leavell, a new participant in an on-line grief support group called WidowNet. She addressed the email to a "Mr. Bernett", 600 miles away in Minnesota and signed it "Mary Lou in Indiana." The subject of the message dealt with grief, self-employment, and productivity ---- 7 months later, "Mary Lou in Indiana" and "Mr. Bernett" were married.

Tom and Mary Lou Bernett were both widowed in the prime of their lives. The
story of their friendship, their long-distance courtship; the incredibly coincidental connections they discovered; and the important lessons they have learned are the basis for a motivational presentation the Bernetts now offer free-of-charge to any groups who might benefit from their experiences.


Prospective Audiences

The Speaking from Experience program can be presented to several different kinds of groups. The program is tailored for each audience by focusing on one of two underlying topics: surviving grief and personal tragedy; or enriching personal relationships.

Typical audiences might include: grief support groups; adult church groups; marriage classes; hospice organizations; and professional in-service programs.

(If you are a program director and would like more information concerning applicability for your group, please contact us.)


The Program

Tom and Mary Lou Bernett have each experienced the ultimate pain in their lives -- the deaths of their spouses.

Through their experiences, they discovered many things they hadn't known and didn't expect. But in the course of their healing process, they came to realize that a few things were more important than all the rest.

Speaking from Experience is the Bernetts' way of reaching out and sharing the important loss and love lessons they have learned. Their message can be helpful to those who are suffering the pain of loss or those whose relationships might be stuck in a rut. The program runs approximately 25 minutes and is usually followed by a question and answer period.


Lessons for Loss:

Taking Care...

Taking care of yourself is vital to helping you get through a period of grief or pain in your life. You will be affected physically in ways you never expected.

Taking Steps...

Every time you move forward just a little bit, you have taken a step in the healing process. It might not seem like much, but if you keep your mind and heart open to the inevitable changes in your life, eventually you will be able to find happiness again.

Taking Time...

Taking the time to properly work through your grief and pain is imperative. Never let anyone tell you how much time is enough -- only you can know that. Don't be surprised if healing takes a year, or even longer.



Lessons for Love

Setting Priorities...

Don't allow yourself to miss the important stuff. Too often, when faced with sudden and unexpected tragedy, a surviving spouse finds themselves not only grieving the loss of their partner, but also the loss of missed opportunities. "I wish we'd taken that trip..." "I wish we'd spent more time together...." "I wish we'd tried to laugh more often...." "I wish, I wish, I wish......."

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...

And in reality, most of what distracts us in our married lives is small stuff. It's important to keep it all in perspective.

Keep Making Sparks...

Try to remember what brought you together in the first place. Then do your best to keep that romance alive. If both members of a couple realize it's important, then romance can be a part of your relationship forever.


Tom and Mary Lou Today

Today, Tom and Mary Lou Bernett reside in Durham, North Carolina. After their 2001 wedding, Mary Lou moved to Minnesota. However, they soon discovered that it was important for them to have the opportunity for a fresh start in a place where the community wasn't attached to either of their individual pasts.

Tom writes and produces business and legal videotape presentations and Mary Lou handles community promotion and accounting for their small business. Together, they enjoy music, dancing, golf, and entertaining.

Collectively, they have three adult children (TJ Leavell, Steve Leavell, and Laura Bernett) but are not in any particular hurry to acquire any grandchildren.


Contact Us:

If you would like to schedule a presentation of the Bernetts' Speaking from Experience program, or if you would simply like to communicate with the Bernetts about their experiences, please call or write:

Mary Lou or Tom Bernett

910-692-8839

ttbernett@nc.rr.com
or
mlbernett@nc.rr.com



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